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Catches, entertainment and news from Thailand’s only exclusive syndicated sport-fishing venue.
Welcome once again to the Jurassic Mountain newsletter that gives you all the news, gossip, catch reports and light hearted anglers antics that relates to this Thailand fishing paradise for the month of October. A big thanks to all the new faces and returning guests who succumbed to the gravitational pull of our ‘extreme fishing gem’ as it was indeed our pleasure to welcome you all to Jurassic Mountain Resort and Fishing Park.
A word of caution before you embark on reading this newsletter…. its fairly long, so make sure you’ve got a spare half hour or so to enjoy it or simply read it at your leisure up until the next months edition is published.
Before we move onto our angler’s reports, Jurassic Mountain are honoured to announce the joining of our latest syndicate member, Martin Bowler. Most of our UK guest’s will be very familiar with Martin’s work as a professional angling journalist as he writes weekly for The Angling Times, and Martin’s angling productions such as “Catching the Impossible” were amongst the first to present the ground breaking under water filming of coarse fish that was introduced to the angling masses via the BBC. Martin decided to come on board at Jurassic as an investor and partner after his recent visit to Thailand which offered him a great insight into the incredible potential of Thailand as a freshwater fishing destination particularly for UK anglers. Even now unlike Thailand’s tourism in general which has been very popular for decades, Thailand’s fishing holiday scene is still very much in it’s infancy, but western concepts of catch and release sport fisheries are slowly taking hold in Thailand, with the introduction of western ideas of fish care and the introduction of high protein baits, local carp species are starting to show signs of incredible growth. Siamese carp of 100lb were once a rare catch just 5 years ago. Now fish of 150lb+ are a lot of anglers target when they visit Thailand, but going forward fish of 200lb, 300lb and even 400lb are entirely possible in the tropical waters of Thailand. In fact Giant Siamese carp specimens of 450lbs+ are swimming around now in the ponds of some private collectors and no doubt some of these specimens will find their way into sport fisheries, whats more scientific research suggests a ceiling for these magnificent fish at 660lb! So the potential here is virtually unlimited.
Obviously this thought alone is enough to inspire 1000’s of angler’s to pay Thailand’s sport fisheries a visit every year, before we even go into the other massive freshwater fish that are available in tropical waters. With Martin on board Jurassic now has a permanent point of contact available in the UK to anyone looking for more information about a visit to “The Land of Smiling Anglers”. Martin will also be offering hosted trips to Jurassic, so interested parties who wish to know more can now contact Martin directly through his own website and or via e-mail, email@example.com. Next years hosted trips are already fully booked out, but Martin, is already planning a trip for 2017. Welcome aboard Martin!
Moving on. I’ve decided to write a historical topic every month in the newsletter so for those of you who are interested in history and in particular the history of the site that Jurassic Mountain Resort is situated on …….. You might be very interested to know that on the Jurassic Mountain site in the year 1555 AD ……. Sod all happened.
Well, that’s that out of the way so let’s now take a light hearted look at the anglers who graced Jurassic Mountain for the month of October. As per normal, my apologies are extended to those who wanted a mention but didn’t get one and to those who got a mention ….. and wished they hadn’t. Here goes ….
What a days fishing to kick off the month this one is. Now I’m not quite sure what the term ‘professional’ angler is supposed to mean as this title seems to be banded about quite freely but if there ever was a guy who deserved this term it’s this guy ‘Loz’, a City fan from Manchester. Apart from turning up with more equipment than you’d find in most tackle shops, Loz’s knowledge of angling is unprecedented and most of all, he treats each catch with the utmost care and attention which in my book makes Loz a very welcome and fully deserved holder indeed of the term ‘professional’ here at the Mountain. Loz immediately displayed his angling prowess as he landed a near 180 pound Siamese on his very first cast of the day which was quickly followed by two more both around the magical 100 pound mark and a further two of 80 and 32 sandwiched in between a couple of very decent redtails for good measure. Suffice to say, they were caught, handled and returned to the water in exemplary fashion and, as always, it was a pleasure having you back here again mate.
Yours truly took time off from writing the newsletter to try my luck on the lake on the following morning and it wasn’t long before I was rewarded with a redtail tipping the scales at the fifty pound mark and a cracking Siamese in excess of the seventy. It was whilst I was playing this fish under the backdrop of the stunning mountain range that surrounds Jurassic that a travel report came over on Capital Radio that I was listening to on the internet. It reliably informed me of the eight mile traffic jam anti clockwise on the M25, the closure of Seven Sisters underground station due to an ‘incident, the four mile queue to get across the Dartford crossing, the diversions around Trafalgar Square due to a burst water main and the major smash up on the London bound A2 due to adverse weather conditions and I couldn’t resist a little satisfied smile as I looked around at the beautiful surroundings bathed in glorious sunshine whilst playing tug of war with a giant carp as it once more reminded me just what I’m not missing about living in the UK and just how extremely lucky and privileged I am to be able to live in this beautiful place called Jurassic Mountain. Please God may it long continue.
We then had ex pat Hong Kong based New Yorker Walter who is heavily into women’s underwear as most of us are. Now, before you start jumping to the wrong conclusions, let me add that Walter is one of Asia’s biggest manufacturers of ladies underwear and this is something I’d have loved to have gotten into …. one way or the other. Only yesterday I was sat fishing on Jurassic’s lake and I couldn’t wait to pack up and get back to my villa to rip the girlfriends panties off …. they were bloody killing me.
Walter started off his stint on the lake with the rare appearance of a snakehead around the fifteen pound mark but then proceeded to get his knickers in a twist when he hooked and incredibly lost 5 arapaima during the course of the day. However, Walter didn’t show any signs of being ‘undie’ the weather because he made up for it the next day by landing a beauty around the 200 pound mark. Tight elastic, er, I mean lines Walter.
Along came Anthony from Newcastle. How d’you turn your dearly loved grandmother into a Red light district ? Quite easy actually….. Anthony did and here’s how he did it.
Step 1. Have Nanna tattooed on your chest just above your left breast.
Step 2. Go to Pattaya and get yourself totally wasted.
Step 3. Make sure you’ve got a couple of mates with you strong enough to carry you to the nearest tattooist.
Step 4. Get the tattooist to cross out one of the n’s and tattoo the word plaza underneath.
What have you got when you wake up ? Nana Plaza, Bangkok’s infamous red light district. Nice couple of mates they are !!
Needless to say, Nan copped the needle big time at her name being altered into a notorious knocking shop just above Anthony’s left tit and a swift right hander was duly delivered when he got home.
Anyway, Anthony had a great time here at Jurassic with the pick of his catch being a fabulous arapaima well in excess of 200 pounds which prompted a vow to return as soon as possible.
You might be aware that we get anglers from all walks of life and of different occupations and it was with this in mind that Jurassic Mountain extended a very warm welcome to its very first Chinese lumberjack named Charles from Hong Kong. Well, he’s as near as dammit to a lumberjack as you can get as he’s a tree feller by trade and this bit of news soon branched out around the lake along with the news that I’d fondly nicknamed him ‘Chop Sticks Charlie.’ Charles temporarily put his Chinese chainsaw into moth balls and set down his roots on the lake in the swim known as Sam’s Sala along with his partner Cat . It didn’t take them long to twig this fishing lark at all as it wasn’t too much time before he landed two fine redtails and not one, not two, but ‘tree’ cracking Siamese carp. Well done Charlie, he’s a lumberjack and he’s ok !!!
We said Welcome to three lads from Doncaster, Gareth, Luke and ‘Stay at home Dad’ Gavin. Well, Gavin didn’t need asking twice about the chance of a spot of fishing on Thailand’s major fishery and soon dumped the ‘Stay at home’ title including the three kids that he looks after on a daily basis whilst the wife is out slaving away at whatever she does just so that Gavin can have his much needed holiday ….. and what a holiday it was for these guys. They caught almost every species there was to be caught. Numerous redtails, tambaqui, arapaima and Siamese carp came to their nets plus a beauty of a Chao Phraya catfish that Luke hooked into and which took off like the proverbial train. Well done lads… we’ll see you again next year, that’s obviously assuming Gavin can discard the ‘Stay at home Dad’ title again for a week we will.
The Scousers have arrived. Hang on to your hub caps. Two Liverpool lads, Jake and Callum rolled into Jurassic along with their two Queenies and who are traveling around Asia no doubt having a great time as they go. Two dedicated anglers were these two guys as they proceeded to start their five day fishing stint. Jake’s sole ambition was to get a fish, no matter what species, as long as it was over 100 pounds. No luck for Jake because although he landed around 30 fish to 80 pound during his visit, the 100 pounder eluded him…..until his very last cast on their very last day that is. Jake finally realised his ambition when an arapaima of around 170 pounds decided to say it’s own personal farewell to Jake whilst Callum, although not catching quite as many fish as Jake came up trumps with an arapaima of some 220 pounds and a Siamese of 110 as illustrated in the photo heading up this newsletter. They’ll be back.
Then in waltzed the four musketeers all booked on Dive tours from Crawley in the UK. Malcolm, Andrew, Craigie and Steve. Well three of ’em waltzed in anyway. The fourth one, Steve, limped in like Old Father Time due to a ruptured cruciate ligament but was this mere irritance going to stop Steve from making his annual pilgrimage to Jurassic Mountain ? Not a chance. This fella would have to have been on life support to have missed out on this trip and even then I think he’d have had them wheel him in.
During the time the four musketeers allocated for fishing instead of propping up the bar drinking, they caught numerous fish with ‘Steve the limp’s’ best being an arapaima around 170 pounds, Malcolm and Andrew fondly known as Hinge and Bracket bagged a Siamese each at 64 and 67 pounds whilst Craigie landed a cracking redtail around the forty pound mark. Craigie’s a senior purser working for British Airways and apart from claiming to be the only man onboard who’ll save your life if you happen to choose his flight to have a major heart attack on, he also gets to look after all those lovely trolley dollies. Lucky man.
Reminds me of the time I was sat at the bar in Heathrow when a gorgeous looking girl took the stool next to me. ‘Obviously an air stewardess ” I thought to myself, ‘But which airline ?’ So in the hope of getting better acquainted, I leaned towards her and uttered the Delta airline slogan
” Love to fly and it shows ?’
This was met with a blank confused stare so I thought I’d try the Singapore airlines slogan instead,
‘Something special in the air ?’
Another blank look so I scratched that one off my list and tried the Thai airways slogan…
‘Smooth as Silk ?’
This time she turned on me and said
‘What the feck do you want ?’
‘Ahhh” I said slumping back in my chair ” Ryanair”
This next report is dedicated to Dave Brewster who by now you’ll all know that he has the undoubted dubious accolade of being our very first double blanker of the month and this being a title that Dave was obviously none too pleased about being awarded. The hypnotic lure of Jurassic Mountain very soon led to the appearance yet again of Dave and he set himself up on the lake full of determination that he wasn’t about to become the recipient of the worst hat trick that would be presented in Jurassic Mountain history. All eyes were on Dave as he feverishly baited up his swim, casted his lines and paced the ground around his set up no doubt with fingers crossed and an odd prayer to the fishing gods for good measure. The uneventful morning passed and because of the hot and humid conditions it seemed likely that Dave was yet again about to perform his Les Dawson impression on Blankety Blank when , glory be and hallelujah, Dave’s line screamed from his reel and after a fifteen minute battle Dave had a thirty odd pound Redtail safely in his net. The relief from Dave swept around the banks of the lake like a tidal wave and very soon after he put the blanker of the month award firmly in the bin when he landed an Indian carp around twenty odd pounds which prompted a more than satisfied Dave to pack up his gear and head for the bar to celebrate with a couple of ice cold beers that no doubt never tasted so good. Not the biggest haul in Jurassic’s history that’s for sure but a very important brace for Dave nonetheless.
We said hello once again to our old friend Mark, the fisheries officer from New Zealand and his Kiwi pal Noel whose a butcher by trade working in Brisbane, Australia. Redtails seemed to be the order of the day for these two Kiwi’s until Mark hooked into a massive arapaima but unfortunately, through no fault of his own, lost it midway through the battle. Unlucky Mark, I wish you better results the next time you make an appearance at Jurassic. Speaking of butchers, Did you hear about the guy who went into a butchers shop and asked ‘Have you got any beef jerky ?’ The butcher responded by diving over the counter and knocked the guy clean out with a swift left hook. I mean, be fair, How was that guy to know the butcher suffered from Parkinsons?
Yet another angler from the Big Apple showed up at Jurassic. New Yorker but Cambodia based Brian arrived on a day ticket intent on catching a Siamese carp. Well, he did slightly better than that by not only catching a carp of around 70 pounds but he also got the much coveted hat trick as this carp was sandwiched in between a nice redtail and a beauty of an arapaima of over 200 pounds. Satisfied beyond doubt with a further six fish under his belt, he jacked it in with half a day to spare and his parting shot as he disappeared back towards Cambodia was ‘ Got what I came for ….. and more.’ Not too many people can say that in a half days fishing. Well done Brian.
Mick a retired civil servant from Hastings in the UK had a couple of days at the Mountain and I can honestly say that this guy was over the moon with his fishing experience. Included in his haul of fish was a fifty pound redtail and a seventy pound carp which this Hastings lad had his own personal battle with and I managed to have a quick chat with him before he departed.
‘How did you enjoy it Mick” I asked him
‘To be honest Steve’ he replied ‘ It’s not often that I’m lost for words but I can only describe that as pretty marvelous’ and then he added ‘ The only mistake I made, was not booking up for longer.
Well Mick, that’s not the first time we’ve heard that said and I can guarantee it wont be the last.
Mick has promised to return in a couple of years time for no doubt a much extended visit.
Hello to Glenn, a painter and decorator working mainly for English Heritage from Minehead in Somerset. Glenn arrived on a recommendation from ‘El Murphys’, Hua hins famous Irish bar and a big thanks is extended for the recommendation to an equally big man Jonathan, the larger than life publican. If you ever get to sample his full English or his Sunday roast, you’ll understand why Jonathan’s a walking advert for the place.
Glenn managed to tear himself away from the mountains of food served up at El Murphys to sample our own Mountain experience here at Jurassic and, after sitting down at our dinner table, he helped himself to an incredible twenty seven fish with the best being two Siamese carp weighing over TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY POUNDS between them. I reckon they’ve been dining out at El Murphy’s.
Now there was very nearly a non photograph with this next report because for some reason or the other the four strapping German guys that rolled into Jurassic declined to get their feet wet by getting in the lake for the photo’s. I found that rather strange as they had a fantastic day especially Sigmund who managed to land a cracking arapaima of around a 100 pounds amongst their large haul of fish. Personally, even if the lake was infested with man eating crocodiles I would still have took my chances to have got the photo of my fish of a lifetime but hey, we’re all different. But then when Sigmund eventually caught and landed another one that was more than twice the size, the opportunity of getting close up and personal with one of our lakes monsters was too good to turn down and his phobia of water miraculously vanished as in he got for his treasured momento. Sigmund is originally from Munich but now resides in nearby Hua Hin and is the proprietor of a German restaurant there which evidently is ‘ Ze best restaurant in ze town.’ I’ll be giving it a try myself pretty soon to see if it lives up to his recommendation. The last time I was in Munich, I met a German guy when Chelsea beat his beloved Bayern Munich to win the champions league and, over a few steins of German Pilsner, he told me that his father hid a Jewish couple in his attic during world War 2.
‘Wow’ I said,’ how commendable is that, helping a couple of Jewish refugees survive the war’
‘ Yes’ he replied ‘ but he made me collect zee rent off of zem for every week they voz there’
I said ‘ A little harsh I suppose but at least it helped them survive the war’
‘More zan a little harsh’ he replied ‘It was 1975 before he told zem that the bloody war voz over.’
Lenny arrived from Slough and got involved in a fishing fiasco which was afterwards described by all concerned as the craziest and funniest 90 minutes fishing ever experienced. The witching hour arrived when the action really hots up and it started when Lennie hooked into a redtail of 53 pounds. This fish took off like a rocket and ended up diving for cover into a reed bed on the other side of the lake. There was only one thing for it as Lenny waded around the shallow shelf towards the fish which unfortunately meant ploughing through the swim occupied by big Steve who’d arrived from the UK and was deeply engrossed in his first days fishing. Now bear in mind that Steve had so far had a not too productive time and was eagerly awaiting the witching hour so had pre baited his swim in readiness for the “sun going down’ action and was obviously non too enamoured when our Lennie came trundling through with a rampant redtail firmly embedded in the foliage reminiscent of he Amazon jungle. ‘That’s nice aint it’ cried Steve or with words to that effect and then followed up his rant with ‘ I’ve got no chance of catching …..’ and before he could add any additional colourful phrases to the bucketful that he’d already delivered, a huge arapaima who’d obviously been watching the events with great interest grabbed Steve’s bait and took off for Bangkok. Steve, whose nickname is ‘diver’ by the way and who was non too steady on his pins due to a dodgy cruciate, did a pirouette and almost lived up to his nickname by diving headfirst into the lake to join Lenny but somehow managed to steady his massive bulk and grabbed his rod with the line screaming off it like he’d hooked a nuclear sub. But that arapaima weren’t having none of it. He just kept going and going and despite Steve’s valiant one legged attempts to put the brakes on it, the fish carried out a three point turn manouvere to freedom which left Steve stood there not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Meanwhile, bite alarms were screaming from one end of the lake to the other and , still waist deep in water in the Amazon Jungle. Lenny had managed to locate and dislodge the fugitive redtail and the sight of Lenny neck deep in the unforgiving foliage and Steve’s forlorn face as he looked at fish being played left, right and centre around him was a picture to savour. All this fiasco resulted in Lenny’s new name of Lenny the Bush which big Steve presented him with and one which will remain firmly etched in Jurassic’s annals of history and, keen to live up to his new found name, the next day with that 53 pound redtail and a 60 pound Siamese firmly under his belt, Lenny hooked into a 200 pound arapaima that took him directly into the Hyacinth beds which Lenny waded neck deep into to finally subdue the fish after a 50 minute scrap.
Well done indeed Lenny….That’s you hooked !!
And I wouldn’t have heard the last of it if I hadn’t included a photograph of ‘Dive tours’ team leader, Steve the limp from Crawley and his fabulous arapaima that he fully deserved having lost four to hook pulls with the fourth one lost at only a metre from the net after over an hours scrap. Steve is head over heels with this place and he had a fabulous time here at the Mountain with the other three musketeers and it wouldn’t surprise me one little bit if we saw this larger than life character leg it back here to Jurassic a lot sooner rather than later to fall in love with it all over again. It was a pleasure being in your company mate.
We welcomed Keith for a return visit to the Mountain for a four day stint. Keith is from Pompey in the UK and his occupation is a quality control assessor for a major salad distribution company. It’s that time of the year in the UK where things turn from green to yellow to brown. In rural Kent these things are called leaves but where I come from in Beckenham Kent, these things are called salad bars. Yuk. I can’t stand the places. They must be the only place where everybody goes to pay and exchange germs. Everybody except the Americans that is whose idea of a salad is a couple of slices of tomato wedged in between a double cheeseburger and triple fries but that’s another subject for another day.
Keith had a great time here at the Mountain having tossed the salad aside for a couple of weeks and he didn’t beetroot around the bush one bit because he landed over thirty quality fish in his three day stint including redtail catfish to 47 pounds and Siamese carp up to 80. If you happen to come across a better fishery on your travels than this one Keith…. please lettuce know.
In came Ian from UK’s Towcester for a one day Jurassic experience. Ian’s a digger driver by trade which might have come in very handy for us here at the Mountain if he’d stayed any longer as there are plans on the table to extend the lake into the newly acquired land on our eastern flank. You think the lake looks good now ? Just wait until the next phase is completed…. it’ll be mind blowing. Ian enjoyed his day with us and apart from talking a load of ‘Cobblers’ which is the nickname of his beloved football team, Northampton Town, Ian still managed to dig up three Indian carp to 25 pounds and a redtail in a swim where the fish had generally decided to play hide and seek for the day.
A happy 50th birthday greeting was extended to Mike who arrived with friends and relatives from Lancaster up in the North West of England. Mike is a taxi driver by trade and has evidently been saving all his tips in a big glass bottle for the last couple of years in readiness for his Thai birthday bash which, when he cracked it open, found that it more than covered his costs for the trip. The taxi business must be good up in that part of the world I reckon. Reminds me when I was sat in the back of a taxi and I leaned forward to tell the driver which turning to take and, as I did so, I tapped him on the shoulder first. Well, he almost had a heart attack, he screamed blue murder and almost drove headlong into a lamp post.
‘Sorry driver” I said ” I didn’t mean to startle you.’
‘That’s ok’ he replied ashen faced and shaking, ‘It’s just that this is my first day as a taxi driver….. I’ve been driving a hearse for the last ten years.’
Mike and company unfortunately picked a bit of a slow day on the lake but sill managed to secure numerous redtails up to the 45 pound mark. However, this wasn’t the size fish required for his birthday bash photo……..so another species in the shape of his girlfriend was dragged in instead. Happy 50th Mike, hopefully see you again someday.
Sweden was represented by Gustav who arrived here at Jurassic for a days fishing whilst on his honeymoon. There was no sign of the wife ( Well done son. Start as you mean to carry on ) so, having thrown off his brand new ball and chain for the day, Gustav jumped into the swim that produced nearly 800 lb’s of fish the previous day …. and managed only 5 redtails for his efforts. Well, that’s the beauty of fishing for you, you never know what mood they’re gonna be in, whether they’re up for it or just sulking and refusing to play……very similar to what you’ll encounter with the wife Gustav as you’ll no doubt find out in time but nevertheless, my congratulations and best wishes are extended to you both.
Along came Bangkok based expat Paul and his pal from the UK also named Paul. Paul works for Tesco’s in Bangkok and I thought he looked rather well educated to be stacking shelves in a supermarket in Sukhumvit’s Soi seven but it turns out that he’s a very high ranking troubleshooter for the company and is the guy that deals with whatever crisis befalls Tesco that day. I wonder how he managed to worm his way out of the recent Tesco horse meat scandal ? I remember it well, in fact I was in Tesco’s ordering a burger shortly after the scandal broke and when I was asked if I’d like anything on it I replied ‘ Yes please, a fiver each way.’
Paul temporarily terminated thoughts of his Tesco troubles to indulge in some Jurassic Mountain angling which produced an abundance of redtails, Siamese and a nice tambaqui around the 30 pound mark.
A big hello was given to day tripper Daniel from Queensland Australia. Daniel is a social worker working in one of Queensland’s many top security mental hospitals and judging by most of the Aussies that I’ve met here at the Mountain, I should imagine that they’re up to full occupancy. I got talking with Daniel about his experiences in his job and they were scary to say the least.
‘So what’s the criteria required in a patient that makes you decide they need to be institutionalized ?’ I casually asked him,
‘Well Steve’ he replied, ‘ We fill up a bathtub, then we offer the patient a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
‘Oh, I understand,’ I said with great interest, ‘ A normal person would use the bucket because its bigger than the spoon or teacup,’
‘No Steve,’ replied Daniel, ‘A normal person would pull the plug ……..Would you like a bed near the window ?’
Daniel had a great days fishing and landed an arapaima at 180 pounds, Siamese carp to eighty and redtail to fifty. Daniel agreed that you’d have to be completely off your rocker to fish anywhere else but here.
Dave from Leicestershire arrived with his Dad and three pals for a 2 day session here at the Mountain. Dave’s a plumber by trade (yeah, another one) and his Dad’s a retired watchman in a lock up compound or something like that. Dave’s obviously taking great care of his Dad seeing as plumbers screw you these days by charging extortionate rates if and when they actually turn up for work. Ever tried getting one on a Sunday ? No chance, not unless you wanna take out a second mortgage. Reminds me of my plumber pal who had a call out to fix a leaking tap in a neurosurgeons apartment in Mayfair. After a two minute job that he miraculously made last 2 hours he presented the client with the bill. 250 quid ……. plus vat.
‘My good God’ said the client, ‘ I cannot charge rates such as this and I’m a top surgeon,’
‘I agree with you ‘ said my pal ‘ Nor could I when I was a surgeon, that’s why I took up plumbing …….. 250 for cash ?’
The Leicestershire quintet had a great 2 day session here at the Mountain landing almost every species available culminating with Dave the plumber getting to grips and landing his fish of a lifetime, an arapaima of 220 pounds that went off like a rollercoaster and which took Dave from one end of the lake to the other. Lovely stuff, it’s not that often you see a plumber taken for a ride……… 220 pounder for cash ?
Andy and Dan or ‘Dobbs’ as he’s locally known in Norfolk’s not so Great Yarmouth arrived for a one day session. It wasn’t the best day ever recorded here at the Mountain for these two Norfolk builder boys but they still managed a fair few fish with a 40 pound redtail and a 50 pound Siamese being the pick of their haul and they went back to their wives and kids in Hua Hin as happy as Larry. So how does that local otter infested fishery commonly known as the Norfolk Broads compare to this place then boys ? Norfolk ‘n good because there’s Norfolk ‘n fish I presume.
We said Hi to Aussie Pete and wife Adele who arrived for a day session here at Jurassic. Pete’s a truck driver in Sydney and it didn’t take him long to put the brakes on a redtail tipping the scales around the forty pound mark. Sydney brings back memories of when I was last there with my son Jimmy and I must say I really enjoyed the place, especially the Aussie dry humour…….
Like the guy from Sydney who was sat next to a Muslim on a Quantas flight. When airborne the drink orders were taken and the Aussie asked for a Scotch and coke which was brought and served to him. The stewardess then asked the Muslim if he’d care for a drink to which he replied in disgust, ‘ I’d rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores and my head stuffed up a sheep’s anus than let alcohol touch my lips.’ The Aussie wasted no time in handing his drink back to the stewardess saying ‘Gee Sheila, you didn’t tell me we had a choice.’ Pleasure to have you here Pete, glad you and Adele enjoyed your day.
Hong Kong based Gunners fan Jamie from Islington London, arrived with the two Ipad’s that were attached to his sons John and Andrew. Fortunately he was able to prise them off for long enough to be able to dabble in a spot of father and son bonding which involved swapping the Ipad’s for fishing rods and incredibly, on their very first cast, a Siamese carp in excess of 160 pounds took the bait and gave the boys a thrill of a lifetime that surely would top anything that those Ipad’s could offer. This was followed by fish after fish including another Siamese that could be classed as a baby weighing in at only 120 pounds. You think that was good ? He repeated the feat for the next couple of days landing treble figure carp whilst other anglers watched in awe and wondered just what the hell he’d trod in. Well done Jamie, I reckon the Ipads will be dumped and it’s ‘Gunner’ be fishing rods for Christmas presents eh ?
Swedish newlywed Gustav had no hesitation at all in swapping his marital bed for the reed beds of Jurassic. That’s enough now son, better get home to the wife.
To those avid followers of Jurassic’s Facebook page you may well have noticed numerous comments from our very own mad keen Matthew Young who is at present stuck out on an oil rig somewhere in the South China sea but who is counting down the days for when he can return here to his favourite fishery. Even a major bout of food poisoning contracted on his previous visit from a plateful of dodgy scallops in a restaurant that I’d kindly recommended to him didn’t deter him from getting his well used backside back on his swim as soon as possible. Even then, still feeling unwell, he managed to land numerous fish before having to return to the doctors some four days later.
‘How’s your stomach now Matthew ?’ the doctor enquired
‘I’ve still got a major problem Doc’ replied Matthew, ‘ I’m dropping my load as regular as clockwork at 7.30 am on the dot every morning.’
The doctor looked puzzled and said ‘ That’s perfectly normal and in fact is a very healthy regularity Matthew’
‘I’d be inclined to agree with you’ replied Matt …… ‘But I don’t wake up until eight ! ‘
You might remember I wrote an article on our gillie Steve in the last newsletter whose hanged around the mountain and if you don’t, let me remind you that Steve came here a while back on holiday and loved the place so much, decided to spend the rest of his holiday volunteering as a gillie around the lake. Well, here’s another one.
Not so long ago we had two American guys on the lake who actually knelt in prayer before casting out their lines. Whoever they prayed to must have listened because they they had an almighty time and nigh emptied the lake between them. They obviously kept Steve very busy between them and after a long day it was time for the farewells to be said. What this American guy did was classic.
‘ Well Buddy, thanks for one helluva day’ said he as he shook Steve’s hand. Now it’s at this point in the proceedings that Steve either gets a little bit extra than the verbal thanks or he doesn’t and it looked pretty promising for Steve when the American said,’ Oh yeah Steve, by the way, I have something for you.’
Anticipating a couple of hundred Baht that would get him a couple of beers that evening, Steve’s smile also brought out the further comment…….
‘But I’m not going to give you a tip Steve’ said the Yank ‘but I’m going to give you something that’s very special for you’ and with that he placed his hand on Steve’s forehead and very solemnly and very seriously proceeded to say a prayer for him. Well, you can imagine Steve’s face can’t you ? Not knowing where to look, he took the most appropriate option …and looked up !
I knew there was something a bit weird about these guys because, being the religious fanatics they obviously are, I thought it extremely strange when one of them actually asked on his arrival ‘Could you make sure that the porn channel on the tv in my room is disabled please.’Can you believe that ? Not that we’ve got porn channels on our tv’s but even if we had, why can’t he be satisfied with regular porn like anybody else ? Bloody pervert !
Now as I have limited space available it’s impossible to include a photograph of everybody who has fished at Jurassic this month so therefore this final report is dedicated to a random selection of anglers and the pick of their catches who have unfortunately missed out on the mugshots but who deserve a mention nonetheless. Congratulations on their captures are therefore extended to the following …..
Adam from Enterprise car rentals in Southampton who was very enterprising himself when landing a cracking 170 pound arapaima,
Terry from Oxford who struggled a bit but vowed to return even though his best fish was only a 30 pound redtail,
Ex pat Chris from the bright lights of Pattaya got his own name up in lights with his first ever arapaima at over 180 pounds,
Howard arrived with Louise from Norwich and he demonstrated ‘Howard’s Way’ of angling by landing a 60 pound redtail,
The Dutch contingent from the D and G bar in Hua hin who managed to get a 65 pound Siamese on a slow day,
Lanzarote based ex pat Steve said gracias me old amigo to a nice 30 pound Indian,
Jean from France said bonjour to a cracking 40 pound redtail,
Regular visitor cameraman Phil from Pattaya got a near 200 pound arapaima firmly in his viewfinder,
And last but not least, a very special mention to Ludvig from Sweden……….. who caught absolutely sod all.
Well, that’s almost it for yet another month , I hope that my tongue in cheek comments were taken in the light hearted manner in which they were intended and as normal, any complaints from those devoid of a semblance of a sense of humour will be dealt with forthwith on www. try telling somebody whose interested . com. Seriously though, any feedback regarding this newsletter will be most welcome whether complimentary or otherwise so please feel free to post any comments on the newsletter post on Jurassic Mountain Facebook page accordingly.
And guess what ? Remember that story about Steve the Limp and my comment that we’d probably see him sooner rather than later ? Yeah ? Well how right was yours truly then ? Two whole long weeks he lasted in the UK’s crappy Crawley before throwing everything up in the air and jumping on a flight again back over to his beloved Jurassic Mountain. Business class of course, gotta take care of that bad knee eh ? Even I didn’t think we’d see him that quick. Next Feb or March was mentioned but ….. two weeks ? Told you he loved this place didn’t I ? He can’t help it. Welcome home Steve.
Very finally I’d like to end with a short story that I’ve previously posted on my Bivvied up and Bored blog which I titled ‘The Jurassic Mountain Carp Challenge.’. To those of you who’ve read it already, I’ll say cheerio for yet another month and I’ll look forward to writing the next edition of the Jurassic Newsletter for you in November. If this newsletter tempts you to sample the Jurassic Mountain experience for yourselves, please mention ‘Newsletter” in your enquiry and you’ll receive the chance of an automatic upgrade into a de-luxe poolside suite subject to availability. To those of you who haven’t read it, here it is…….
THE JURASSIC MOUNTAIN CARP CHALLENGE
It was one of those days today at Jurassic Mountain where it was almost midday and the temperature was way up in the high thirties. I was undecided whether to do a spot of fishing, go to the beach or just do bugger all. My mind was soon made up when my neighbour Wayne strolled by.
‘Fancy trying to win your 1000 baht back mate?’ said Wayne wearing that smirking grin that was a challenge in itself. He hadn’t let me hear the last of it since he’d won the Chao Phraya challenge and I fancied wiping that smirk off his face but as he was thirty odd years my junior, I decided the safest way to try to do it was with a fishing rod.
‘What we going for this time and what’s the bet?’ I asked
‘We’re going for the big boy’ said Wayne ‘ The Grim Reaper’
Fully aware that this brute that Wayne was referring to had led many an angler a merry dance and still remained unlanded, I replied ‘ So what’s the bet, first Carp, most Carp or biggest ?’
Wayne got his smirking grin back on and said ‘ Second best chooses, your choice’
Not rising to the bait, I said ‘ Biggest, lets go.’
So armed with our rods and a bucket each of Jurassic’s finest carp pellets, we strolled down to the lake to let battle commence. There were only five anglers dotted around fishing today which left twelve swims available.
‘What one d’you want?’ I asked waiting for the sarcastic comment which of course I got.
‘ Second best chooses’ smirked Wayne and this time I took the bait.
‘ Sod off you northern git, pick your swim and let’s get on with it.’
Walking away giggling like a demented kid, Wayne set himself up on the swim known as ‘Blind mans bluff’ and I chose the swim on the opposite side of the lake but well within each other’s vision so that we could both see what the other one was up to.
Within thirty minutes, Wayne’s bite alarm screamed off and he was in to the first carp of the day. I silently congratulated myself for saying biggest and not first and watched as Wayne landed what looked like a very decent Siamese.
I saw him and his gillie weigh the fish. ‘ How big Wayne?’ I called across the lake.
‘Sixty four’ replied Wayne and I knew I had my work cut out. ‘ You caught anything yet?’ he added laughing knowing full well that I hadn’t.
A few minutes went by and determined not to be outdone, I was lobbing out pellets into the area where my baits were cast and bingo ! Off screamed my left hand line at a rate of knots. I struck into the fish and I was in. My gillie quickly reeled in my right hand rod and after a tasty scrap, I had the Siamese safely in the net.
Out came the scales and I was gutted to see the indicator settle at fifty six pounds.
‘How big?’ called out Wayne with his hands on his hips.
I couldn’t resist it, ‘ Sixty five’ I shouted back.
That did it ! Before I could call out ‘only joking’ Wayne was off and running like Usain Bolt around the lake towards me.
‘Lying Cockney git’ said a breathless Wayne after inspecting the scales at fifty six pounds.
‘I’m sure I said fifty six Wayne, you must have misheard me or maybe I’m dyslexic ‘ I said laughing as Wayne went back to his swim muttering some northern profanities.
Shortly after I was ‘in’ yet again but this time it was only around the fifty mark at best and I let her go back into lake without weighing it much to the amusement of Wayne who had his beady eyes fixed firmly on me.
Wayne then landed a further two Siamese and on weighing the second one shouted across ‘ Seventy three ‘ followed by a laughing ‘and a half ‘ and as there was only an hour or so left, I could feel the 1000 baht slowly being removed from my pocket and heading up towards Wigan again.
It got to 5.00 pm and I was resigning myself to defeat once again. It was clouding over like the heavens were about to open when all of a sudden my right hand reel screamed into action. I struck into the fish and I was ‘in’ and straight away I knew that it could be a possible match winner. The fight lasted for about thirty minutes and when I finally got it in the net, I knew I had Wayne beat.
With my my eighty four pound match winner shoved firmly up Wayne’s backside, we headed to the bar and I’m pleased to announce that not only did I get my 1000 baht back, but ‘ second best’ accepted defeat in exceptionally good grace because he stood for the beers too. Cheers Wayne !