Newsletter January 2017

Catches, entertainment and news from Thailand’s only exclusive syndicated sport-fishing venue

Welcome once again to the Jurassic Mountain newsletter that gives you all the news, gossip, catch reports and light hearted anglers antics that relates to this Thailand fishing paradise for the month of January. A big thanks to all the new faces and returning guests who succumbed to the gravitational pull of our ‘extreme fishing gem.’ It was our pleasure indeed to welcome you all to Jurassic Mountain Resort and Fishing Park.

As the sun rose to herald the start of another new year here at Jurassic Mountain, I walked the deserted path around the lake that very shortly would bear witness to the old and new arrivals alike all eager to indulge in their Jurassic Mountain experience.

And yet another year in paradise begins …….
January was chock-a-block on the lake almost on a daily basis with the best part of two hundred anglers waltzing through the gates but even with this heavy traffic, the catch results were pretty good too. Even though the so called ‘cold’ season is also upon us where catch results can become a bit hit and miss at times, many an angler went home happy sporting smiles almost as wide as the lake itself. Please don’t be put off by the term ‘cold’ season because it’s nothing like what you poor souls have to endure this time of the year in Ol’ Blighty and for us it’s actually a welcome relief to have a cool breeze blow across the lake in temperatures that are still in the mid twenties and are invariably up there in the thirties. However, Thailand did see some unseasonal extremely heavy rainfall in January which caused major flooding in the south of the country but fortunately, apart from 2 or 3 days where we had some prolonged spells of heavy rain, we didn’t experience any flooding at all and normal service was quickly resumed here with blue skies along with the standard long periods of brilliant sunshine that goes with them.

Myself and Neti decided to get away from this Jurassic Mountain mayhem for a few days and we nipped over to Cambodia for a change. That’s the beauty of living in Thailand, you’re only an hour or so from countries such as Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Burma and Malaysia so if you’re into travelling such as I am, Thailand is the perfect location. Anyway, after a few days in Phnom Phen where we visited the infamous Killing Fields, I think Neti was eventually rather glad to get back to the serenity of Jurassic Mountain because I’m not convinced that she quite enjoyed witnessing the location of where that crackpot Pol Pot carried out one of the worst acts of genocide in living memory if not in history. For me however, as unbelievably harrowing as it was, I would still recommend anybody to visit this place if not only to confirm just how terribly unfortunate others were to have been born in the wrong place at the wrong time, but also just how lucky we are that we were not.

So back at the sanctuary of Jurassic Mountain, having lived continuously on the resort for well over two years now, I witness all types of anglers of all shapes and sizes who wander through our hallowed gates. I’ve seen those who are expert in the sport and those who definitely are not. I’ve seen the one’s bestowed with more than their fair share of luck and others who’ve enjoyed no luck at all plus I’ve witnessed those who profess to be expert anglers but one look at their technique tells you otherwise and I’ve seen those who openly admit of not knowing one end of a rod from the other. But the one thing that they all have in common is that they all have the same chance of that monster fish they all seek picking up their bait so whether you’re a “John Wilson” or a never fished before novice, whether you’re normally a luckless individual or you’re the Mr fortunate who gets his luck by treading in the proverbial dogs crap on a daily basis, you all have just as much chance as each other of landing the fish of your lifetime here and who knows? It might just be your mugshot that’s depicted as our Angler of the month in the future. I wish good luck to you all.

January saw even more additions into the lake as our fish stocking programme carried on in full swing. It also included the introduction of a couple of monsters that will no doubt surprise the life out of whoever’s lucky enough to hook into them and we’ve got even bigger plans in the pipeline for 2017, so watch this space. The new sala’s that complement the swims have almost all been completed and the vision of the sun reflecting off their roof’s make them shine like terracotta jewels dotted amongst the lush tropical greenery that adorns the lake’s perimeters. Combine this truly stunning scene with the huge mountain range that acts as the perfect backdrop to it and you have a vision that is so breathtaking that you could quite easily make comparisons with it to a Gainsboro work of art. It really is that spectacular and quite simply, probably one of the most beautiful fishing resorts that you’ll ever have the privilege of visiting.

Before I embark on the anglers reports, a quick word for the ladies who may be wondering what the hell they’re going to do here in paradise while their partners are engrossed in the best fishing of their lives. Well, if you’re not into sitting in the sala with your man watching him attempt to land the fish of his dreams, you can be sent into dreamland yourself because Jurassic Mountain provides a luxury Thai massage service that you can enjoy in the comfort of your villa, whilst you’re relaxing around the pool or even back in your fishing sala if the mood takes you. If you’re feeling slightly more adventurous, the fabulous beaches in Cha-am are not to be missed or we can also organise shopping trips to the wonderful shopping malls of nearby Hua hin where you’ll be able to give his credit card a major bashing without assumably too many complaints from him either. After all, what’s good for the goose……!

Right, let’s now take a light hearted look at some of the antics of a selection of anglers who graced Jurassic Mountain for the month of January. My apologies are extended to those who visited us and who didn’t get a mention, it’s nothing personal, there’s just far too many of you for me to keep up with. Here goes ….
Our January angler of the month award is bestowed upon Kevin from Middlesex in the UK who persevered for twelve solid days on the lake landing many different species in the process. The main photo is of Kevin (right) showing off a Siamese carp of around 110 pounds along with Jurassic Mountain resident Neil Bartholomew who was on hand to assist him with lifting the fish because as it took Kevin an hour and twenty minutes to get this carp to the net, he was apparently in no fit state to lift it on his own.
Mark from Wolverhampton ended his multi day stint at Jurassic on a very high note when he hooked into and landed a monster carp of almost two hundred pounds which sent him back home to ‘the black country’ as ‘happy as Larry’ to no doubt spread the Jurassic gospel and with a determination to return again in the future to catch one that’s even bigger.

Charlie Carline from Chester progressed from landing redtails to securing a nice lump of an arapaima during his first day’s attempts. With the adrenalin still pumping around Charlie’s more than adequate frame, he booked himself into a night fishing session where he came up trumps yet again when landing a fabulous Siamese carp pushing the 100 pound mark. What’s that you trod in again Charlie?

Here’s a nice story. We put out a big welcome to Ipswich’s Paul Bradley who returned for his second trip to Jurassic and hooked up here second time around with his very first girlfriend who he hadn’t seen, wait for it…..for 33 years. Paul and Sarah celebrated their reunion by booking themselves into a lakeside suite where they spent many happy hours together obviously making up for long lost time and no doubt finding plenty of things to talk about too. Full credit goes to Paul who still found the time (and the energy) to drag himself away from his long lost love on a daily basis to set himself up on the lake where he landed Siamese carp and Amazon redtails to 65 and 40 pounds respectively. A big thanks are also extended to Paul who very kindly brought me over a few goodies from the UK that are hard to come by over here. I must admit that apart from the obvious things such as my grandkids and my pilgrimages to Stamford Bridge, there’s not too much that I miss at all about Ol’ Blighty but my Branston pickle and Colman’s mustard are right up there on the list of things that I do. Cheers Paul.

Paul Bradley also found the time to get his arms around the carp during his stay here and we look forward to welcoming him and Sarah back here again soon seeing that Jurassic Mountain resort would make a fabulous venue for the future wedding that I’m reliably informed could well be on the cards. I wonder if Sarah is aware of the term ‘fisherman’s widow?’

Now here’s an unbelievable story that I kid you not is 100% true.

Step forward backpacker and keen pike angler Jimmy Gentle (what a great name that is) who decided that a visit to Jurassic Mountain was on the top of his list having only just recently landed in Bangkok. So in strolled Jimmy on a very rare wet and dismal day that I firmly believed would see the contingent around the lake struggle to get results. What the hell do I know? What happened towards the end of Jimmy’s stint I would not have believed if I hadn’t witnessed it myself. With a nice fresh wriggling livebait attached to his hook, Jimmy casted out in the hope of snaring an arapaima that would go very nicely with the couple of redtails and the Siamese carp that he already had landed that day.

There was nothing gentle about Jimmy’s over enthusiastic cast at all. It was akin to an athlete propelling a javelin at the Olympics which saw Jimmy’s rig land bang in the centre of the lake but minus the livebait which had become unattached and catapulted some distance away towards Bangkok but which was no doubt rather pleased to have it’s freedom given to it albeit in a rather unorthodox manner. Now, d’you remember me telling you that I’ve witnessed all sorts of anglers with some who’d no doubt trod in the old proverbial? Yeah?

Well, Jimmy Gentle must have stuck his size 9’s slap bang in the middle of a bloody dungheap because as he began to retrieve his baitless hook in order to replenish it with the next unfortunate tilapia, a monster arapaima of some 300 odd pounds (if it was an ounce) took a shine to and grabbed the bare hook that Jimmy was retrieving. The braid was then unmercifully stripped from a momentarily bewildered Jimmy’s spool as it took off like an exocet missile in every available direction giving Jimmy a non too gentle battle that lasted for well over an hour before being safely ensnared into the arapaima cradle and eventually into the arms of an over the moon and ecstatic one Jimmy Gentle. I told you that Jurassic Mountain resort is widely perceived to be the number one fishing venue in Thailand didn’t I? Sometimes you don’t even need bait to land the fish of your lifetime.

Footnote: To those who may wish to cast doubt on this story……No, it wasn’t foul hooked.

Friday the 13th arrived which predicts bad luck for all those who actually believe in that stuff. I’ve never believed in that nonsense myself but if Claudia from Germany did, she certainly doesn’t anymore because whilst fishing out of peg 3 with not a four leaf clover or a black cat in sight, lady luck flashed her biggest smile upon Claudia when she hooked into and landed a fabulous treble figure Siamese carp and booting that friday the 13th old wive’s tale firmly into touch in the process.

He’s back. The Angling Times very accomplished angler and journalist Martin Bowler returned here yet again to what he very aptly describes as ‘Thailand’s carp fishing Mecca’ and he soon displayed his angling prowess by tempting specimen fish to the net on a very regular basis. Martin had only just arrived at Jurassic but decided to throw a line out for the last hour or so just to see if he could tempt one of our predators before dinner. Those on the lake watched in awe as the maestro banged into an arapaima within minutes which unfortunately slipped the hook but very soon after he hooked into yet another and eventually got it to the net at around the 160 pound mark. And so Martin packed up his kit and went off to dinner leaving those still on the lake with nothing more than envious but fully deserved admiring glances. It’s easy when you know how eh?

January saw what can only be described as an arapaima ’fest’ with monster fish being landed on a very regular basis and it was no surprise when UK expat Bill Rawlings from Perth in Australia got in on the act as the ‘biggun’s’ always seem to fall prey to this guy wherever he goes. Bill was the last one on the lake every morning and invariably the first one off but when it came down to the day’s final count up of who caught what, Bill was always up near the top of the list in terms of numbers landed. It was a pleasure to have had Bill here at The Mountain during his multi day fishing holiday and it’s pretty safe to assume that if it hasn’t reached them already, he’ll be spreading the Jurassic story amongst all the top carp anglers that he has associated himself with during his lifetimes angling exploits.

Not content with hauling in the carp on a daily basis, this monster arapaima also fell to Bill’s angling skills and is therefore added to his ever growing fish capture portfolio.

The Jurassic Mountain flags were flying high as our resort was officially confirmed as the number one venue for ‘I’M A CELEBRITY, GET ME INTO THERE’ because The Angling Times journalist Martin Bowler was joined by the legendary John Wilson along with brother Dave for a family get together where fisherman’s tales were thrown about with gay abandon. Throw in the arrival of the one and only Terry Eustace, that world famous tackle magnate from Birmingham and the lovely Claudia Darga, whose fishing exploits are followed by over half the bloody population of Germany and it’s pretty evident that Jurassic Mountain has fast become Thailand’s number one angling haunt to be seen in. Our Jurassic Mountain limo awaits you at Bangkok airport Robson!

Now, I’d like to put the record straight as to a question that we get asked on numerous occasions. We often get quite a few requests to see if we can reserve a favourable swim or save a particular swim that produced fish the last time around for a returning guest. Well, our apologies are about to be extended because I’m sorry to say that under no circumstances is favouritism shown to anybody here at Jurassic Mountain when it comes down to allocating swim locations because whether you’re a first timer or a regular, whether you’re the three wise men bearing gifts or even the bloody Pope, it’ll make no difference because you’ll all be in the draw for the pegs. We will of course advise you as to what pegs are the most sought after and which latest pegs have been producing but even though the so called ‘top swims’ do in general produce marginally better catch results, I’ve seen many a bag of specimen fish landed from a swim that was allocated after all the sought after pegs had been taken rendering the whole bloody procedure pointless anyway. Nevertheless, I think you’ll all agree that this is the only fair way to allocate the pegs because not only does it put everybody on a level playing field, it also confirms that there’s no ‘old pals act’ bestowed upon selected individuals at Jurassic Mountain either ……….So there you have it, I wish the very best of luck to you all.

Finally, reverting back to the question of whether the ladies would enjoy sitting in the sala whilst their partner has the time of his life here, personally, I myself never enjoyed taking the wife fishing with me because, in a nutshell, she was a bloody jinx because I invariably caught sod all with her looking over my shoulder. So, whilst on the on the subject of the ex wife, I’d like to finish with a non fishy story that I’ve told many times before and thankfully always with her blessing. Mind you, that was before I jumped ship and made my bolt for freedom but even so, I assume her blessing still applies. If you’ve read this little story before, I’ll bid you farewell and I’ll see you on here again next month. Here goes…..

About what seems like a million years ago when I was married and living in south east London with my now ex wife, who had a little habit of getting her words totally mixed up. Here’s a couple of instances that you may find amusing…

It all started on the day of our wedding and I remember that fateful day that we got married like it was yesterday. There we were standing in the registry office with the soon to be wife heavily seven and a half months pregnant and the registrar quite seriously said, ‘ Would you like to sit down and take the weight off your feet love ? ‘ which I found slightly more than pretty amusing at the time and it started me off giggling like a school kid.

Perhaps the giggles were mainly down to nerves but I did eventually calm down a bit and got myself together ready for the jump into the wedlock abyss. However, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about what he’d said and it was all I could do to keep a straight face as we were standing in front of the registrar’s desk and he began to read the words that was about to put the proverbial ball and chain around me for the next twenty seven years. Just prior to meeting the registrar, the ex wife had told me in no uncertain terms that If she got her words mixed up and I started laughing, she’d be outta there in five seconds flat pregnant or not pregnant. I wish to god she hadn’t said that. How can you not laugh at something that happens that somebody has warned you not to if it does ? It’s bloody impossible.

To be perfectly honest , I’d have preferred it if she’d said nothing and it wouldn’t have been an issue to me, but she’d said it and it was lodged in my brain and I couldn’t get rid of it. So there we were and he asked me to repeat the words which I just about managed to get through without laughing and then he began to ask her to ‘repeat after me’ and I was stood there trying my best to keep a straight face because of the ‘keep the weight off your feet crack’ and praying that she’d come through it word perfect because I knew the slightest cock up would send me into bloody hysterics. Then it happened….. He got to the bit where she had to say ‘without any unlawful impediment’ and I just knew that this was the moment that I’d been dreading. I closed my eyes and with my lips clamped together like they’d been superglued, I looked up at the ceiling and waited for it. Her answer was something resembling a foreign language and it sounded more like Swahili than English. That did it !! I collapsed into a heap across the registrar’s desk in an absolute fit of held in laughter and everybody looked at me as if I was completely nuts. The registrar was looking at me in a state of disbelief which, when I saw his dead pan face only made me laugh even more. I was now laughing like a bloody hyena on laughing gas and I was hanging onto his desk which was the only thing that stopped me from rolling about the floor.

This went on for a good thirty seconds and with tears streaming down my face, I took a massive deep breath and said ‘ Sorry about that,’ but the registrars crack of ‘Pray may we now continue?’ didn’t help one bit. The poor ex wife who looked as if she was about to kill me was made to repeat it three times but thankfully, or as it turned out twenty seven years later, unfortunately, she managed to get her words right in the end and I stopped laughing for just about long enough to say ‘I do.’ There has been other instances that have occurred over the years and apart from her telling me when I won the local darts competition that she was my ‘Lucky Ascot’, there’s another cracker…… So there we were on a Carribean cruise when she came out with the gem that the friends who were with us at the time still talk about almost thirty years later. ‘What do you want to do this morning ?’ I asked her during one of the day’s cruising at sea. ‘ Don’t know really’ she said ‘ I might go and listen to the talk that Captain Speakin is going to give in the lounge ‘. I looked at her , then looked at my pals and then looked back at her. ‘Pardon’ I said ‘What d’you just say?’ So she repeated it word for word and I had to ask her how she knew his name but I knew the answer that was coming. So I just had to ask, ‘How d’you know his name’s Captain Speakin?’ Out she came with the classic ‘ Cos every morning over the loudspeaker it goes ‘bing bong,’ and he says good morning everybody , this is your captain speaking…….’ She just couldn’t understand bless her why three of us went into hysterics.

That one was a classic and one I’ll never forget but the last one was even better.

Years ago before Sky tv and with only 3 channels on the tele, to pass the time we used to play ‘I spy’ with the kids. This was one particular game that I never gave up until I got the answer. So it came around to her turn ‘ I spy with my little eye something beginning with ‘F’, she said. Me and the kids went through everything that we could that began with F.

‘Fireplace ?’ No !

‘Fridge?’ No!

‘Fish tank ?’ No!

‘Fish?’ No!

‘Fish food then?’ No!

‘Frock?’ No!

‘Fan?’ No!

This went on for ages and the kids wanted to give up but I weren’t having none of it. I’d now physically scrutinised every conceivable object in the room that began with F and the answer was always the same …. No! So , not wanting to be beat, I now got desperate…

‘Flock wallpaper ?’ No! ‘

‘Fly?’ No!

‘Flame?’ I said striking a match… No!

‘Fresh air ?’ I said getting irritable ..No!

‘Fluffy bloody dog then ?’ I said getting angry.. No!

‘Floorboards under the poxy carpet?’ I said getting angrier. No !

‘Film on the f’kin telly then ‘ I said getting even angrier until at last I’d exhausted every possible answer including ‘kids f’kin fingerprints’ but she always came with the same but now smirking answer …No! ‘You’d better not be winding me up’ I said ‘ this better be a proper answer, I’ve gone through everything in here‘ ‘It’s staring you right in your face ‘ she smirked with the look that said ‘ I’ve got you at last.’

One last look around the room and verifying the fact that there was no way that I’d missed anything, I reluctantly said the words that she’d been waiting almost an hour to hear ‘ I give up ‘ Then came her answer that was pretty close to having an assault charge against me …………‘Fermometer’

Well that’s it for this month, I sincerely hope that this newsletter tempts you to sample the delights that Jurassic Mountain has to offer and hopefully we’ll have the pleasure of your company in the future where you will have the opportunity to realise your dreams and maybe just catch the fish of your lifetime. However, in the event that the fishing gods decree that the monster fish lurking in the murky depths eludes you on the day, at least you’ll return home safe in the knowledge that you’ve just fished at what is widely considered to be Thailand’s number one fishing resort and the closest place resembling paradise that you could ever imagine possible.

If you have any comments regarding this newsletter, whether complimentary, constructive or critical, they’ll all be very gratefully received so kindly post them on the Jurassic Mountain newsletter post on our facebook page.

TIGHT LINES, SEE YOU ALL ON HERE NEXT MONTH.