Newsletter December 2017

Catches, entertainment and news from Thailand’s only exclusive syndicated sport-fishing venue situated within our luxurious resort


Welcome once again to the Jurassic Mountain newsletter that gives you all the news, gossip, catch reports and light hearted anglers antics that relates to our exclusive Thailand fishing paradise for the month of December. A big thanks are extended to all the new faces and returning guests who succumbed to the gravitational pull of our 'Extreme Fishing Gem.' It was our pleasure indeed to welcome you all to Jurassic Mountain Resort and Fishing Park.


And the sun rose on nearby Cha-am beach to welcome in the month of December

Hello again readers and I trust you all had a great Christmas? The normal answer to this from the majority of people who’d spent Christmas in front of the TV was 'nice, but quiet' or 'glad it’s all over' and now that it IS all over for another year, most of you will be back at work recouping the money you’ve shelled out in time for the next one. Personally, as soon as my kids were old enough to realise that I’d lied to them all their young lives about Santa coming down our chimney even though we never had one, my idea of a perfect Christmas was sitting on a warm beach as far away from the UK as possible and sod the telly, apart from the Boxing day football that is. Christmas day at Jurassic was therefore right up my street because not only was it warm with temperatures up in the thirties, there were endless ice cold beers to keep me chilled and not a telly in sight....except for Boxing day of course. Jurassic had a great bunch of people join enjoy the Christmas day fayre and a gay old time was had by one and all. It just goes to show that no matter how big your Christmas tree is or how many flashing lights you’ve got on it, it’s having people around it that really matters.



There’s nothing quite like a walk along the beach on Christmas morning too

The beautiful unspoilt beaches of Thailand are where the only thing you should take away are magic memories and the only things you leave behind are footprints. The above photo epitomises everything that Thailand is renowned for such as it’s fabulous beaches, warm blue seas and of course the countless coconut palms that grow in every direction you look. However, a word of warning when you pose under these tropical trees for your holiday snaps because with over 600 recorded deaths last year caused by falling coconuts in Thailand alone, you might just want to think twice when looking at the camera and maybe look up instead!

If you can manage to avoid being wiped out by a coconut landing on your bonce, living in Thailand has many benefits although there are some things that you just can’t seem to lay your hands on over here such as my favourite, good old Branston pickle. So if any of our visitors could manage to fit a jar in their suitcase, not only will you be financially reimbursed for your efforts, you'll almost definitely get a mention in the newsletter and if you can stretch it to a jar of pickled onions as well, you'll be the favourite for our angler of the month award ..... whether you catch a bloody fish or not!

An existing villa has recently become available for sale on the resort so if you quite fancy owning your own holiday home over here in paradise complete with associated fishing rights, please contact us on for full details.

So as we are about to enter 2018, we do so with the good news that the new super highway from Bangkok to Hua hin via Jurassic Mountain is well under construction and with completion scheduled for 2019, faster transfers to and from Bangkok are something that we will all be looking forward to. But then came the not so good news. Due to the recent weather conditions combined with extensive labour problems, 2019 is now no longer the completion date and we’ll be lucky to have it completed by 2020. Weather conditions I can accept but my opinion is that if these construction companies paid those poor sods who slave away in the heat a bit more than the equivalent of seven quid a day, perhaps their labour problems would no longer be an issue. Anyway, we’ll keep you informed as to when this super highway arrives on Jurassic Mountain’s doorstep.

Congratulations are extended to Jurassic resident and good friend Wayne who married his long term Thai girlfriend Yu. It wasn’t exactly the wedding of the year so don’t expect to see it on the front cover of OK magazine because it was simply a case of him signing a couple of forms, unloading a bucketload of cash, picking up his ball and chain and getting his arse out of there! I’d like to think that it was Wayne’s unabated love for Yu that made him take the plunge into the marital abyss but in reality, the fact that he’s now joined in matrimony to a Thai national means he doesn’t have to deal with Thailand’s complex visa regulations anymore and this may have been a slight factor in the matter. Nevertheless, whatever the case, I, along with all the team at Jurassic Mountain wish them both a long and happy life together in this fabulous country.

Further congratulations are extended to another Jurassic Mountain villa owner, Singapore based Gary Smock who celebrated his 50th birthday this month in some style. Gary threw a party for over seventy people at one of Singapore’s top venues and I’m pleased to say that despite me giving him a going over in this newsletter on a fairly regular basis, he takes it all in good spirit and his invitation for me to join him was gratefully accepted.
So Neti and I flew down to Singapore for a four day trip and in all honesty, if Carlsberg did 50th birthday parties, they wouldn’t be able to hold a candle to this one! A fabulous time was had by one and all and Neti and I would like to thank Gary and his wife Denise not only for their kind hospitality but for an amazing and truly unforgettable Singapore experience…. I just hope I’m still around for his 60th!

One of the local attractions nearby to Jurassic Mountain is Wat Huay Mongkol temple which not only has a gigantic statue of Buddah that can be seen for miles around but also has a fabulous carved wooden elephant that everybody queues up to walk under because tradition has it that by patting the elephants gigantic penis, it will bring eternal good luck. My Neti assured me that it was for this reason only that she queued up a dozen times to give it a loving stroke but seeing as we still haven’t had a win on the Thai lottery, I can only assume that it was just wishful thinking!


Another tourist looks for a stroke of good luck from Jumbo.

At long last the two new hardwood bridges have been constructed and have replaced the existing concrete structures which to be honest were far too steep for some people especially after a few too many draft Changs. In fact it wasn’t too long ago that I accidentally performed a Chang fuelled dive off it after a particularly heavy night in The Anglers Rest and therefore to say that I’m not the only one who’s glad to see the back of those ‘Bridges of Sighs’ is something of an understatement.


Not exactly the bridge over The River Kwai but just as popular….. Just ask Alfie!

Speaking of Alfie, our self proclaimed Jurassic Mountain mascot, guard dog and welcoming committee rolled into one, he went to the hairdressers for his monthly tint and blow dry but unfortunately instead of coming back looking like the normal cool dude, this month he looked more like Ken Dodd...


Our Alfie is without doubt the most photographed dog in Thailand. Must be the cravat!

Before we get on to the nitty gritty of the fishing frolics here this month, I’ve decided to write a bit about some of the things in Thailand that I’ve encountered that might be of interest to those travelling here and just for a bit of fun, I’m going to call it my Cha-am survival guide. Here goes….

The pothole was invented in Cha-am and is still it’s greatest export. Initially devised for traffic control, it’s popularity recently soared with Thailand’s adoption of 'free range golf', a game where you hit a golf ball in any direction with the intent to end up anywhere but in a pothole. Extremely difficult!

With Thailand’s staple diet consisting mainly of pork, fish and chicken’s feet, vegetarians struggled somewhat to find themselves a balanced meal in Thailand other than rice with vegetables, rice with noodles or erm ….. rice! Do not despair you veggies, Jurassic Mountain has employed the services of that world renowned vegetarian chef known as 'The Salad Tosser' whose sole role is to provide the non meat fayre that all you discerning veggies require. I couldn’t be a veggie myself or god forbid, a vegan! They spend more time checking for animal ingredients than they do eating the stuff!

When exploring in Cha-am and you fancy a meal, you’ll most probably find that food can take a long time coming as most kitchens are small and can only handle a couple of dishes at once. Only rarely do all dishes ordered come out at the same time so be prepared to wait a while but as they say, great things come to those that wait.... even if you do get your starter after your main dish while the wife’s on her ice cream!

Where would we be without this? The all round Asian miracle cure for just about everything! Available almost everywhere but rapidly becoming a behind the counter top shelf product mainly due to it’s impressive medicinesque reputation. If you, like me are one of those unlucky sods that every mosquito within a mile radius makes a beeline for, don’t deny yourself, make sure you buy some as it takes the itch out of those bloody mozzie bites within minutes!

This is what we all have to watch out for. It’s all too easy not to drink enough and eventually you’ll stop sweating and overheat therefore cooking yourself! So keep the fluids flowing and you should survive. I can recommend Chang on draft in The Anglers Rest as the perfect remedy …. and lots of it!

Day off from Jurassic? Try fishing off the pier but don’t expect to be as good at it as the locals. No chance! Ultimately pier fishing will give you practice at waiting, that’s why it’s called fishing and not catching but the rewards can indeed be spectacular.... Just like it is at Jurassic!

No we don’t have wild elephants here anymore but many can be found in the nearby elephant parks where they’ll amuse you by playing football and even painting pictures signed by Jumbo just for you. An old Thai saying states that “when elephants fight, ants get killed”. If you think about this saying, I believe it explains a lot about the world.

Now these can sometimes be a slight problem. Actually all dogs in Thailand have the same name.... Dog! At night they put them out on the streets to protect their property but the problem is the later it gets the more the dogs want to protect. They form packs, gangs and send coded messages across town coordinating their attacks. If you are out and about very late at night and you get hounded, cock your arm ready to throw imaginary stones at them, trust me it works! In the unlikely event that you do get bitten, best to have a jab but the good news is that the only sign of rabies here in the last ten years was when my ex wife foamed at the mouth like a rabid dog when she dived in the pool and her newly dyed bleach blonde hair turned green! She was hysterical and so was I. I’ve never seen anything so hilarious in my bloody life and if you think the term rabid dog might be a slight exaggeration on my part, you might enjoy another story that I wrote about the ex titled The Doris Councillor which you’ll find amongst the many others I’ve written on my Bivvied up and Bored facebook page. If you enjoy a good laugh, take a peek!

Reports of shark attack and crocodiles in the Gulf of Thailand are unproven whereas tiger and bear also have a disappointingly low body count. The last wild elephant has apparently packed his trunk and headed off to the circus whilst snakes, scorpions and spiders are rarely seen due to their prominence on local menus. Therefore it’s unlikely that you’ll encounter any wild animal problems here in Thailand apart from an angry 300 pound arapaima who’ll gladly try and knock your teeth out or my ex wife who by all accounts is apparently still out there somewhere trying to find me! Look out for the green hair, you can’t miss her!

Don’t go getting wound up if you see what looks like mouse droppings in your room, it’s just dried up bug shell concentrate commonly known as gecko poo! Gecko’s are cute little things that find their way in and even if you’re paranoid about a tiny little lizard who stays well out of your way, I’m sure you’ll prefer it to any of those mozzies and bugs that may venture in.

Don’t expect any and you won’t be disappointed. Cha-am has recently installed street lighting along it’s beachfront but apparently this is not for the pleasure of tourists but just to attract the crabs.... and boy do they taste good! Did you know that male crabs, in order to attract a female have worked it out that by growing just one part of their body to be as huge as possible, this would make the female of the species go weak at their crabs knees. So in their wisdom, they nominated one front claw to be the 'bigger the better' part of their anatomy that would turn on all those lady crabs.... seems like a wasted opportunity to me!

According to the Thai tourist board, the rainy season is over so expect to get wet less. If it does rain on you remember to collect your visa refund, 100 baht for each day of rain but be sure to save some rain as proof. Joking apart, the rain always warns you when it’s coming, if the wind gets up, it’s time to take cover cos you’re definitely gonna get wet. But it’ll still be lovely and warm nonetheless!

Strictly for the culinary adventurous S.E. Asia traveler or dissolute expats who’ve completely lost the plot, this local Asian delight can still be found if you look hard enough. An unhatched duckling is boiled in its shell and eaten with a spoon but the duckling should be sufficiently formed to be al dente or rather al beake. VERDICT.... Are you bloody nuts?

Contrary to rumours, there is NO corruption in Thailand, NONE whatsoever, categorically ZERO. The country, just like all of its neighbours is commission based, that’s why it’s so easy to do things here and everybody will help you because they earn a small fee for their efforts. Even the police work on commission and it’s a system that works perfectly and one that the UK would do well to adopt. Confused? Allow me to elaborate…

When I first came to Thailand I was appalled! Having left behind me the United Kingdom with it’s rigid rules and unbendable police, I could not take a weekend trip up to Neti’s hometown of Buriram without falling foul of the boys in blue except that over here they’re dressed in roadside rusty brown presumably as camouflage because it makes them very difficult to spot. Until such time that I cultivated my own sixth sense of where these roadside ambushes were being carried out and I became alert enough to spot a Thai rozzer at a thousand metres, I was 'robbed' on every other journey of 400 baht (about 8 quid) but here’s the thing, whether it was for no seatbelt or speeding, I was guilty on every occasion. No matter how much I raged about lack of proof, no camera and their mere guestimates of my speed which were remarkably accurate if I’m honest, I still ended up paying 400 baht. My sense of injured injustice kept me awake at nights. Then I went back to the UK for a family visit and hired a car and although I noticed an immediate improvement in the level of driving all about me, what I didn’t notice was the proliferation of Gatso cameras that seemed to stalk my every journey. I received two fixed penalty notices for speeding and a ticket for parking six inches into a supermarket loading bay. If I paid up immediately there was a reduction (how very kind) which I did and it 'only' cost me £160 or about 7320 baht which would have been the equivalent of 35.6 trips to Buriram. I rest my case! You can stuff the UK’s stealth tax traffic system, give me Thailand’s lovely boy’s in brown any day of the week!

Please refer to corruption.

Thai massage is without doubt one of the best in the world and you’ll be spoilt for choice with the dozens of massage parlours that exist in Cha-am. However, I think a certain Thai lady named Nut was oblivious to the implications of her sign and might just be wondering why there’s always a mile long queue of customers waiting to get in the place....



Dave a Cornish cattle farmer from Penzance was one of a West Country contingent who thoroughly enjoyed his first time at Jurassic and basically his first time at serious lake fishing. First time? This guy caught almost every species in the lake including Siamese and Indian carp, arapaima, Asian and Amazon redtail, alligator gar and giant snakehead. Dave, in light of your fantastic achievements here we have no hesitation in nominating you as our angler of the month for December.
I came across Dave just as he’d landed that cracking giant snakehead and where he informed me that he wasn’t too bothered about getting into the water for a photo. However, when I told him that the fish wasn’t too far off the current world record, he all but dived in!
Now, bearing in mind that these Cornish cattle farmers are a tough old breed who ain’t the least bit fazed if confronted by an angry old bull for example, I had no doubts that there’d be anything in our lake that would put the wind up him and all was ok as he put his arms under the fish to get his photo.... but then he saw its teeth!
Dave almost shi... Dave almost provided some instant groundbait and it’s been quite some while since I’ve witnessed somebody so hesitant when lifting a fish out of the water and when he eventually did so, the terrified forced smile in the following photo was there for all to see!


Squeaky bum time for angler of the month, Cornish Dave.


Two of the most asked questions from anglers that fish here are 'Do non or novice anglers have as much chance of catching a fish' and 'Does Jurassic Mountain ever have well below par days?' The answer to the first question is well and truly answered by Cornish Dave above and the answer to the second question is just like at any other fishery, of course we do! Thankfully, the good days far outweigh the poor days but spare a thought for regular visitor Bangkok based Adam whose brother Oliver came over to see him from St Albans in the UK for a week.
Having shown him the delights that Bangkok and local Hua hin had to offer, he booked up a one day stint at Jurassic which was going to be the icing on the cake of his visit to Thailand but alas it was not to be. NOTHING! Not even a bite! An unforecasted weather front descended upon Jurassic Mountain that day and the temperature dropped like a stone. A few of the other anglers managed one’s and two’s but basically the ten degree drop in temperature killed it stone dead which if nothing else, just goes to prove that you can’t do sod all about the weather and we at Jurassic will always tell you about the not so good days as well as the usual phenomenal ones.


Here’s Tom the traveller

That nasty weather front soon lifted and it was back to normal service resumed as Tom (above) travelling around Thailand soon found out when this Chao prayha catfish gave him a nice Jurassic Mountain welcome.


Jakob from Germany celebrated with a few steins of draft Chang after landing this beauty.

The German contingent including Jakob (above) fished hard and drank hard every day they were here and with them all being proficient carp anglers, it was no surprise to see them land quality fish in abundance, once they’d relinquished the sun beds! Having fished all over Thailand in the past, It was particularly pleasing to hear the compliments that these guys bestowed upon Jurassic Mountain and we were more than glad to return the compliment by seeing Jakob land the fish that he craved, a triple figure Siamese carp. Wunderbar!


Neli ‘Ninja’ Bartholomew catches carp for fun and is in yet again!


Neil 'Ninja' Bartholomew (above) is our Jurassic Mountain resident and karate expert who last year became the youngest ever person outside of Japan to get the coveted 6th dan black belt. You should’ve seen the size of some of those buggers that Neil had to scrap against! Built like Japanese brick built shi... built like Japanese brick built lighthouses and he took on three of ‘em at a time! Impressive yeah? Personally I reckon I could handle Neil without a problem but just to be on the safe side, best not tell him I said so! Neil likes nothing better than a good fight and none more so than when he’s having a scrap with the Jurassic carp who it seems practically relish queueing up to give him just that!


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Cornish Dave got taken into the darkness with this nice redtail.

The third member of the Cornish party was Mark who lifts another Siamese carp during his stay.

And making up the Cornish contingent was Dave 2 seen here with one of his Siamese carp.

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Sam from Singapore started off with a pacu....

.... and then moved swiftly on to the bigger stuff

Jakob finished off his Jurassic experience with a smile almost as big as that redtails.


There’s only the very lucky anglers who can lay claim to landing an arapaima as their very first fish at Jurassic Mountain especially when they’re only here for a one day session but our very lucky and extremely happy daytripper Dave must have trod in something big that day because he did just that....


The first fish of a one day session. Can’t be bad!

We have a Danish angler turn up at Jurassic on a regular basis who we’ve dubbed Jimmy the Machine. Jimmy acquired this nickname due to his undoubtable angling skills that will see him land twenty odd fish when others have to make do with single figures of catch, and that’s not the only feat Jimmy manages to excel at here. He also has the uncanny knack of sniffing out the big boys in the lake and it wasn’t too long before 'The Machine' really got started....


And just to rub everybody’s noses in it after landing that beauty of a carp in the above photo, 'The Machine' really got to work ………


Jimmy is without doubt one of Jurassic’s most prolific anglers.


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Paul eventually landed this arapaima after a fight lasting for well over an hour.

The Sing family arrived from Singapore and here’s two ‘Singapore Sings’ with not an ice cube in sight.

Here’s Jamie with one of the eight Siamese carp that he landed during the afternoon of his session.

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Visiting his newlywed brother Wayne at Jurassic was Paul and after he’d congratulated the lucky couple, he soon got into the fish....

....The other visiting brother was our former gillie Mark and his local knowledge certainly paid dividends for him when seeking out the fish.

The carp kept coming and it was six of the best in total for Ricardo who also landed an arapaima during his one day visit. Lucky man!


Paul and Mark also celebrated Paul’s birthday during their time at Jurassic and what finer way was there for the brothers to celebrate Wayne’s marriage and Paul’s birthday other than this....


What a great birthday present for Paul (right). All it needed was some ribbon round it!


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Even this Niger ripsaw combined with carp and redtails was scant consolation for Nathan after losing a lumpy arapaima but hey, there’s always next time mate!

Simon arrived with the family and fishing with his son Harry, their days haul consisted of a nice number of Siamese carp and redtail catfish between them.

Proud Welshman Paul fished swim number six known as the point and banked nine fish before the sun went down including this nice Siamese.

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Returning angler Paul had a great few days again. This nice pacu helped.

Jeff a builder from Watford enjoyed his second visit to Jurassic Mountain and it wasn’t too long before he made his mark by getting into the carp once again

And it wasn’t too long before Jeff got himself into this arapaima that took him into the dark.




The above photograph is a nice shot of Ricardo from Italy whose daughter is either saying that her dad has just landed the second fish of the day or she’s simply posing and giving the sign that almost everybody seems to be giving when having their photos taken nowadays. Especially over here in Thailand, they’re all at it, V signs all over the place.... and most of ‘em directed at me!
Just as a matter of interest, do you know where that standard two finger gesture that we all know the meaning of originates from?
Well. it actually goes way back to when us Brits were at war with the French and for the benefit of all you non francophiles who think that we still are, it finished in 1815. Anyway, during the war, our English longbowmen were very feared and were rightly considered to be far superior than those Frenchies just as we still are to this present day because they ain’t nowhere near as good at darts as us either! However, when the English archers were captured, those dastardly French would cut off their index and middle fingers to render them useless with the old bow’n’arra should future battles occur. Sod that for a game of soldiers, never mind the bloody archery, it wouldn’t have done their fishing a lot of good either! Anyway, to intimidate the enemy in an early form of psychological warfare, the English longbowmen used to stick their two fingers up to the French before the battle commenced which in simple bowmens terms and as history has subsequently confirmed, presumably meant that you’re about to get your French arses kicked! Just thought I’d mention it because it might well be worth remembering the next time you order two beers in Paris!


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Now then now then, how’s about that then? John’s first fish of the day was certainly top of the pops!

Lyndon and Alistair pose together for the much sought after trophy photo with a nice arapaima.

Another arapaima to the net as Welshman Paul knocks yet another species off his fast diminishing fishlist.

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There wasn’t too many tambaqui who showed their faces this month so Lewis made certain that we saw this one’s perfect profile.

Keith is an engineer from Portsmouth and he gave himself a cracking belated Christmas present when he landed this arapaima on Boxing day.

What a fabulous shot this is! It could well have been a contender for our photo of the year competition but unfortunately a member of our staff took it so I’m afraid it don’t count!



Jeff made sure he put the icing on his Jurassic Mountain cake when he tempted this beauty.


For those of you who are still debating whether to enter our 2018 carp competition, debate no more, Its full! We all at Jurassic Mountain are looking forward to welcoming the eleven lucky entrants who’ll be taking part in it in July and seeing as it was my idea to hold this annual event in the first place and the fact that I’ve put my name in the hat to host it from start to finish, I think revising the name of this future competition to the ‘Steve Byford Carp Classic’ would be a nice touch so I shall leave this thought of mine with the Jurassic Mountain ‘powers that be’. However, in anticipation of their decision, I’d like to inform you that we are now welcoming entries for the newly named ‘Jurassic Mountain Carp Classic’ for July 2019. Get in quick folks!

A big thanks to all those who’ve sent in their photos for entry into our best photo of the year competition. Below are three more selected from those sent in so far. Please keep sending your best photos but no more than three please to and not only will you get your best shots posted on our Jurassic facebook page, it might just be yours that wins the fabulous prize of an all inclusive, all expenses paid holiday in our little piece of paradise over here in Thailand. Don’t forget, you’ve gotta be in it to win it!


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And penultimately, in my quest to visit as much as Asia as possible whilst I’ve still got the energy to do so, here’s a little story about a rather eventful trip that I made to Cambodia recently.

Having already sampled the delights of the crazy nightlife of Phnom Phen, I decided that I wanted to see the real Cambodia because places like Kampot and Kep down in the south of the country had come highly recommended. I was told that the four hour road journey from Phnom Phen to Kampot although a little dicey had spectacular views well worth seeing so I opted for a taxi instead of a plane and off I went.

A little dicey? Spectacular views there may well have been but I didn’t see any of ‘em! My eyes were firmly riveted on the road in front of me as my maniac driver overtook everything in his path spending more time on the wrong side of the road dodging the potholes and playing chicken with the oncoming traffic. Not content with this act of lunacy, he also juggled two cell phones at the same time with his other hand constantly on the horn…. this guy was totally nuts!
It was absolutely terrifying but luckily we made it to Kampot in one piece and when I scrambled out of that deathtrap I had eyes like a bullfrog on speed where I’d dared not blink for the last four hours. Needless to say, I ditched the taxi option on the return journey and flew back to Phnom Phen instead because even if I’d flown with an adrenalin junkie pilot flying upside down in a helicopter, it would have been far safer than with this lunatic!

So there I was safe and sound although somewhat shaken in friendly and laid back Kampot and it was whilst checking into the first half decent hotel I came across that I found out just how actually friendly this place was. Upon complementing the stunning Cambodian receptionist on how beautiful she was in the hope that my compliment might see me upgraded to a nicer room, with a flutter of those gorgeous eyelids she explained that all the rooms were the same except for her room which was evidently far nicer than all the rest and that I was more than welcome to share it with her for the cost of the room rate…... ‘thirty dollar!’
For those of you that know me will not be in the least bit surprised to hear that I of course declined her very kind and attractive offer and ended up choosing a room which was far less crowded.
Moving swiftly on, it was that evening that I found out just how laid back this place was too when I stumbled upon the most chilled out bar on the planet. Overlooking the river, this bar certainly lived up to its reputation where one can chill out to their heart’s content because instead of bowls of peanuts on the counter, this bar had bowls of homegrown ‘waccy baccy’ which everybody gleefully took advantage of. Did I partake? Now I’m not admitting to anything publicly on here but after five hours of staring at the river which I have hardly any recollection of, I somehow arrived back at the hotel and eventually found my way to her room….. I mean to my room!

Kampot truly is an amazing town. I was also informed that the police are just as laid back as the customers were in that bar. Whether this info was subject to exaggeration I cannot be too sure but basically I was told on pretty good authority that not only can you drive whatever you like with no such thing as insurance or road tax, you could drive stoned out of your nut with two bottles of whisky inside you, three times the wrong way round a roundabout and nobody would so much as bat a bloody eyelid! My Phnom Phen taxi drivers idea of pure heaven no doubt! Actually, I did exaggerate about the road tax, apparently there is one but as nobody ever bothers to pay it, there might just as well not be!

Another thing that I quite liked about this place was that unlike Phnom Phen, you could actually sit in a bar without being accosted by numerous young ladies offering anything and everything according to your taste and to the size of your wallet. However, this doesn’t automatically mean that Kampot doubles as a convent, far from it apparently as the guide book relating to Kampot will verify and here’s a snippet (although I’ve beefed it up a little) of information of things to look out for within Kampots own survival guide that I found rather amusing.

BUSH WOMAN (AKA Sausage hunter)
Difficult to spot, she hides in thick underbrush and up trees during daylight hours and dons permanent marker makeup as a disguise after dark. Like a Praying Mantis in heels, this mainly nocturnal lass can be seen scouting out new happy hour and local bars for the unsuspecting and vulnerable male. Well versed with the world’s mating rituals and habits, this accomplished hunter tracks down and secures her prey normally well before closing time. Multiple successful hunts in one night however are not uncommon therefore approach her with precautionary measures in mind but be particularly aware of the species that looks like a woman but drinks shots like a man. An approach, especially from the rear should only be undertaken by the curiously adventurous, by professional deviants or by those who have yet to tick this particular experience from off the top of their bucket list!

So, on leaving Kampot without bumping into bush woman who was most probably tied up elsewhere, I ended my journey in Kep, a seaside resort some fifteen odd miles away. Kep is a curious place that boasts more swimming pools than beachfront, more walls than houses, more lanes on the roads than cars, more ruins than residences and more Vietnamese tat than you can shake a Cambodian stick at. Founded as a seaside retreat for the French elite in 1908 and a favoured haunt of Cambodian high rollers in the 1960’s, the abandoned and now crumbling luxury villas bear testament to Pol Pot’s Khymer Rouge regime of the same era that attempted to take the country back into the stone age by annihilating everything and everybody in its path. Fortunately, Pol Pot has long since kicked the pot and Kep is now resurgent once more and with its world renowned seafood, local tropical islands bathed in glorious sunsets and not forgetting of course the unrivalled hospitality of nearby Kampot, I literally can’t wait to go back.

Happy New Year wishes are extended to you from all of the team here at Jurassic Mountain and yet another year is about to begin in the ongoing Jurassic Mountain story.

Tomorrow will be the first blank page of Jurassic’s 365 page book for 2018 and it’s because I’ve loved every minute of writing about them for the past three years, it’s with a touch of sadness to inform you that it won’t be my ramblings that you’ll be putting up with from now onwards. Frequent sleepless nights worrying about my recently contracted incurable disease which has been diagnosed as ‘chronic writer’s block’ has prompted my decision to hang up my writing boots and spend more of my time to concentrate on my fishing so I’m now handing over the newsletter duties for the next person to blow Jurassic Mountain’s trumpet to the multitude.
I’d like to take this opportunity in thanking Jules and Eddy at Jurassic Mountain for affording me the privilege of writing the newsletters for what is in my opinion unquestionably the top fishery in Thailand and also my thanks are extended to all of you readers for taking the time to actually read them. There were predictably one or two people whose feathers got ruffled and the odd one or two who I rubbed up the wrong way especially within a couple of comments that somehow slipped through the censors net but hey, you can’t win ‘em all but in general I’m pleased to say the majority of you seemed to have enjoyed reading them anyway. So on that note and as we’ve now reached the very last page of my three year newsletter adventure, I’d like to sign off with my few final prophetic words of wisdom for you...


Another new year arrives offering new chances and fresh starts for your dreams. Believe in yourselves! Grab that opportunity before it passes you by and you never know, you might just find magic.... just as I did when I first found Jurassic Mountain! The incomparable Jurassic Mountain, where life’s ambitions and wildest dreams become reality before your very eyes. Go for it! Make that decision to come through its gates to enjoy the experience but also make sure you cherish the moment too because in just a blink of an eye, Jurassic Mountain will become just another memory…. but a bloody good one at that!




The sun sets at the end of December and brings the curtain down on 2017 here at Jurassic Mountain.
Tomorrow will be another page in its history, come and write yourself into it!


Well that’s it for this month and of course for 2017 readers. I’d like to thank you for taking the time to read this newsletter and hopefully we’ll see you here at Jurassic Mountain in the future where it’ll be time to realise your dreams and maybe catch that fish of a lifetime. However, if the fishing gods decree that the monster fish lurking in the murky depths eludes you on the day, at least you’ll return home safe in the knowledge that you’ve just had the pleasure of fishing at what is widely considered to be Thailand’s number one fishing resort and the closest place resembling paradise that you could ever imagine possible. Paradise? Jurassic Mountain exemplifies the very word so why not join me and see for yourselves. It’s very easy to get here.... but a damn sight harder to leave!